Harry Shuster wants you to consider………..

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.

Bill said, ‘I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?’

Larry replied, ‘I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?’

___________________________________________

 

A little boy went up to his father and asked: ‘Dad, where did my intelligence come from?’

The father replied. ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.’

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‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ the divorce Court Judge said,

‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,’

‘That’s very fair of you, your honor,’ the husband said. ‘And every now and

then I promise to try to send her a few bucks myself.’

___________________________________________

 

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said,

somehow I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’

‘Me neither doc,’ said the husband. ‘But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids though.’

___________________________________________

 

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has

been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words

that were used to put the curse on you.’

The old man says without hesitation, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’

___________________________________________

 

Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

___________________________________________

 

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll

take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?’

The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’

‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.

___________________________________________

 

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.

‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.

‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’

‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’

___________________________________________

 

Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’

Joe: ‘Really?’

Moe: ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’

___________________________________________

 

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and

asks him how he is feeling.

‘I’m O. K. But I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,’ he answered.

‘What did he say,’ asked the nurse.

‘Oops!’

___________________________________________

 

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display

of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and thirty pounds since

I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.

‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’

‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ‘You’d never get it all in one.’

He’s still in intensive care.

___________________________________________

 

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap

of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by

even more thunder rumbling in the distance…

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s got there.’

 

 

 

 

Harry Shuster wants you to know these interesting facts……..

Your history lesson for the day.

Q: Why do men’s clothes have buttons on the right while women’s clothes have buttons on the left?

A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid’s right! And that’s where women’s buttons have remained since.

Q: Why do ships and aircraft use ‘mayday’ as their call for help?

A: This comes from the French word m’aidez -meaning ‘help me’ — and is pronounced, approximately, ‘mayday.’

Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called ‘love’?

A: In France , where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called ‘l’oeuf,’ which is French for ‘egg.’ When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans (mis)pronounced it ‘love.’

Q. Why do X’s at the end of a letter signify kisses?

A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called ‘passing the buck’?

A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing,he would ‘pass the buck’ to the next player.

Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host’s glass with his own.

Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be ‘in the limelight’?

A:Invented in 1825,limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre,a performer ‘in the limelight’ was the centre of attention.

Q: Why is someone who is feeling great ‘on cloud nine’?

A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

Q: In golf, where did the term ‘Caddie’ come from?

A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl,Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game ‘golf.’ So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day’ and the Scots changed it into ‘caddie.

Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called ‘pygg’. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as ‘pygg banks.’ When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches (milling), while pennies and nickels do not?

A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren’t notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.

So there! Now you know!

Forget about Dancing with the Stars….

Forget about Dancing with the Stars…. Check this out

 

 

http://sorisomail.com/partilha/196015.html

Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know!

Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know!

 

—-  

Men can read smaller 

print than women can; women can hear better. 

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

 

Coca-Cola was originally green.  

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

It is impossible to lick 

your elbow. 

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

The State with the 

highest percentage of people who walk to work:  

Alaska  

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

The percentage of 

Africa that is wilderness: 28% 

(now get this…)  

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

The percentage of 

North America that is wilderness: 38% 

———— 

——— — —— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

The cost of raising 

a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: 

 

$ 16,400

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

The average number 

of people airborne over the U.S.

in any given hour:  

61,000  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

Intelligent people 

have more zinc and copper in their hair..  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

The first novel ever 

written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.  

———— 

— ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——— – 

The San Francisco 

Cable cars are the only mobile

National Monuments.  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——

Each king in a deck 

of playing cards represents a great king from history: 

 

Spades – King David 

 

Hearts – Charlemagne 

 

Clubs -Alexander, the Great 

 

Diamonds – Julius Caesar  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

111,111,111 x 

111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse 

has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. 

If the horse has one front leg in the air, 

the person died because of wounds received in battle. 

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes 

———— 

—— — ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

Only two people 

signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4,

John Hancock and Charles Thomson.

Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later. 

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?  

 

A. Their birthplace 

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

Q. Most boat owners name their boats.

What is the most popular boat name requested? 

 

A. 

Obsession  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

Q.. If you were to spell out numbers,

how far would you have to go until you

would find the letter ‘A’? 

 

A. One thousand  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,

windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? 

 

A. All were invented 

by women.  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

Q. What is the only 

food that doesn’t spoil? 

 

A. Honey  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

——  

Q. Which day are there more collect calls

than any other day of the year?  

 

A. Father’s Day  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—  

In Shakespeare’s time,

mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. 

When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, 

making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the 

phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’ 

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

It was the accepted 

practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply

his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.

Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month,

which we know today as the honeymoon. 

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

In English pubs, ale 

is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when 

customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ . . .

 

It’s where we get 

the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’  

———— 

——— ——— ———

—-  

Many years ago in 

England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked

into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups.

When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase

inspired by this practice. 

———— 

——— ——— —— — ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

At least 75% of 

people who read this will try

to lick their elbow!  

———— 

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— 

—— 

 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING

IN  2012 when… 

 

1. You accidentally 

enter your PIN on the microwave.

 

2. You haven’t 

played solitaire with real cards in years.  

 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers

to reach your family of three.  

 

4. You e-mail the person who

works at the desk next to you.  

 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch

with friends and family is that they 

don’t have e-mail addresses. 

 

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your

cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you

carry in the groceries…  

 

7. Every commercial on television

has a web site at the bot tom of the screen 

 

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone,

which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and

you turn around to go and get it  

 

10. You get up in the morning and go on line

before getting your coffee  

 

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 

 

12 You’re reading this and

nodding and laughing.  

 

13. Even worse, you know exactly

to whom you are going to forward this message.  

 

14. You are too busy 

to notice there was no #9 on this list. 

 

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list  .

 

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~  

 

NOW you’re LAUGHING at yourself!

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!” (Unknown Author)